Definitions

clog /klɒg/ noun. 1 a shoe carved entirely from wood, or having a thick wooden sole. 2 Scots a heavy block of wood.

verb. (clogged, clogging) 1 to obstruct, esp. by accumulation of glutinous matter.  2 impede, hamper. 3 fill with glutinous or chocking matter.

slang pop one's clogs to die.

clog-dance a dance performed in clogs.

This clog will provide a disjointed and wretched service such that:

1. You will feel like you being slapped in the face by a wet clog.
2. Your internet connection will be clogged with banality (and be impossible to remove).
3. You will die or spontaneously burst into a clog dance before being euthanized.